We are crazy!

When I was pregnant with Little P, we had pretty much decided that she was going to be our last baby.  Being pregnant and nursing sooo many babies had really taken a toll on my body and we felt like whether she was a boy or a girl, she'd be the last.  Fast forward to two months after she was born. The moment I realized that my beautiful baby was a girl, my heart swelled to bursting.  I finally had a girl!  She was so mellow in the first couple weeks (sleeping through the night), long enough for Ken and I to realize that we'd probably have to start discussing birth control sooner rather than later.  I wasn't sure whether I felt done, but Ken was.  I set the appointment, got the Rx for the iud, but couldn't do it.  After much fasting and prayer and soul-searching, I discovered that in my heart of hearts, I wanted one more baby.  On the fast Sunday that we were fasting about it, there was a little girl being blessed, and I started bawling during the blessing because I knew I wanted one more.  SO, I canceled the appointment for the iud (the day before) and we decided that we were going to try to have another baby.  We are crazy.  I began trying to get my body healthy again.  Blood tests, hair analysis, supplements up the wazoo, exercise.  You name it.  After still not cycling 15 months postpartum, I started going to an acupuncturist.  He said my body had "no power" because of all my babies.  Well, it only took three sessions, and I find myself pregnant yet again!  I am so happy and so scared that I will lose it.  My tummy is already huge because that is just what it does when I get pregnant.  No one knows yet because I just want to keep it to ourselves for the moment (although, let's be honest, I'm sure everyone here is speculating).  I can't wait to meet this last bundle of joy.  I can't wait to feel like my family is complete.  I can't wait to finally stop looking around for the missing child who isn't here yet.  I already love this little sesame seed so much.  I am so excited, and beyond grateful, that I get to do this one more time.  Yay for another baby!